The great escape

Six months on and Chile has begun to seem like somewhere which never really existed. Incredible how time can heal... Back in June I was manically preparing and counting the days until we returned to some semblance of a normal life... It was strange, saying goodbye and in fact hard for the children although they have the good fortune of being young enough to live in the present and dwell little on the past. We spent the summer months decompressing in the reassuring familiarity of the children's grandparents' comfortable house before setting up our new home and new life in the semi-rural setting we once aimed for before, swapping the majestic but untamed Andes for the humbler, infinitely cosier Chilterns... As the girls and I stood on the pavement outside our still strangely new-feeling home, the dust-covered container which had travelled overseas all the way from Santiago via Valparaiso and ending up at the port of Tilbury before journeying by road to our new abode, heavy with all our worldly goods, felt like an old friend and looked a little how I felt myself ie battered, tired but somehow resilient... It was a sight that will stay with me for a long time and definitely symbolised a moment in our lives.
That was four months ago. The girls have now all but finished their first term at their British state primary school and have literally loved every minute. Even I have taken the first tentative steps at a return to some worthwhile working activity and am full of the joys of making my contribution to the world outside my wonderful but limited existence as wife, mother, homemaker... Things feel right. Schools are such stimulating, modern and exciting places to be here. Healthcare is available and free for all, a concept which people take for granted sometimes, not realising that the rest of the world is far from where we are as regards well-developed civilisation and basic human rights. It is cold in December and the days are short, all adding to the authenticity of a proper Christmas this year. My friends and family are around and nearby as we are to them, no longer isolated by continents and hemispheres not to mention seasons and timezones. I wake up every morning absolutely delighted to be here, back where we belong...
What do I miss about Chile? The weather has to be in top position. Incredibly mild and short winters, long, warm summers and always comfortable conditions for sleeping and so forth... Plus the sun, its light and its warmth. Never having to use a tumbledrier nor even attempt to dry clothes indoors. The ubiquity and abundance of avocados. Wonderful Sauvignon Blanc at very reasonable prices. But things I can actually live without... if I like. Chile was an adventure in every sense of the word but also very hard work at times. As for the girls, they still recall their school/nursery, friends and teachers, but are swiftly forgetting it all too which is a shame. Every now and then one of them remembers something and we all laugh, a little incredulously at times, did that really happen and were we really there? Does that world really exist or was it an elaborate dream, just like Dorothy had in the Wizard of Oz? There's no place like home...

Stand by your man

One month of the holidays left until school reopens and we aren't actually doing too badly. The girls are enjoying the long epicurean days and it must be said so am I. I am pleasantly surprised at how well they are playing together although plenty of fighting goes on too...often about toys or dolls' clothes. It's definitely been a bonding period as Santiago slows down and empties for the summer while school and nursery seem like a distant memory.
Last week we were invited to DH's department's end-of-year party, an event held in the university grounds for academic staff and students alike-- plus entourage such as ourselves. The students had gone to a great deal of trouble, not just by setting up and decorating stalls and even a barbecue serving choripan (sausage in a bread roll) and anticuchos (brochettes) amongst other delights but also by erecting a sophisticated sound system with amplifiers and at least two lap-tops providing the soundtrack of non-stop music tailored for a range of tastes and age-groups. Spirits were high, wine and beer flowed and the atmosphere was generally good despite some minor scuffles marring the end. The children amused themselves, especially by exploring the grounds while some of us indulged in some uninterrupted adult conversation. Inevitably I was asked about how I had settled in to life in Chile, what my impressions were and whether or not I was working at the moment...probably about a dozen times. Needless to say my answers became more expansive and less guarded as the Sauvignon Blanc went down...
Which brings me on to an issue I have been wanting to address for a while but haven't yet found the right moment, namely that of the Trailing Spouse. At first it was a novelty and of course a privilege, not to have to work and following one's husband around the world while also busily taking care of domestic matters and the lion's share of the childcare. Isn't that what all women did once, I wonder to myself, and many still do even in our so-called most developed cultures, at least for a few years while the children are small. Not so in Chile, where I and others like me are the exception and very much the minority. I hardly ever see Chilean mothers with their children here during the day apart from at weekends; usually families employ the ubiquitous and strictly apron-clad figure of the Nana, a robust all-encompassing home-help whose tasks may comprise anything within the home but also include looking after their patrons' children. I suppose their "mistresses" haven't had to up sticks and move to the other side of the world but still it's food for thought as I am surrounded by an army of apron-wearing women in parks, around the pool and in the communal gardens, some of whom I can't help feeling probably don't care much for the spoilt brat(s) in their charge but who will put up with anything for 10,000 Chilean pesos (approximately US$20) for an entire day's work... As for us Trailing Spouses, we do feel a bit isolated at times but of course have to look at the positives such as travelling to a new country/continent/hemisphere, learning a new language, spending time with one's children and thinking about going back to work...

A tale of two (or three) cities?

Famous last words... On Sunday autumn arrived overnight in Santiago complete with plummeting temperatures, grey skies, rain and leaves everywhere. This might sound strange but it actually made quite a welcome change after the constant blinding and often very hot sunshine for what seemed like an incredibly long summer. In some ways it is reassuring to witness the passing of the seasons and the fact that this happens even in Chile too is something of a relief. It almost seems as if a circle has closed since our arrival here last September, when we left behind the beginning of autumn back in Europe and suddenly landed in a parallel universe where spring was still in its infancy. Not only were we culturally shipwrecked but even our environmental signposts disappeared as we fought our way through a thick and confusing mist which has gradually cleared to show us a brave new image of the world.

Nearly seven months on since our move and we have adjusted not just once but twice, due to having spent three and a half months in temporary accommodation and the same again now in our more permanent home. It is as if we have lived in two quite different cities in this time: in the beginning in the centre we were situated in a half-decaying concrete jungle right in the middle of very busy and colourful street life, including a multitude of shops and road vendors many of whom we came to know well during the course of daily life. There weren't many green spaces and the sheer volume of human and vehicular traffic was often overwhelming, as was the noise level and air pollution. Now here in the elevated eastern part of the sprawling city there is still plenty of construction but newer and better maintained, complemented and offset by plenty of foliage in the form of parks, flowering bushes and trees not to mention sweeping vistas of the Andes which one only occasionally glimpsed from the centre. Even though traffic and noise can be irksome here too at times on the whole it is much quieter and exudes an air of being cared for, often to the point of exaggeration. Every morning manicured lawns are generously watered and leaves are now painstakingly swept up as they fall. The children can only ever find one conker or two as the rest have been cleared away by zealous gardeners, maids and park attendants. People are often dressed more elegantly though there is still quite a mix in looks and styles while downtown it was more as if the twenty-first century hadn't yet arrived. The difference is stark and almost Dickensian, with the workers confined to their ghettoes while the wealthy live like lords... Having said that I am told that where we live is only very middle-class and that in fact there exists an upper echelon even further away from the hoi polloi with bigger, newer houses and gardens with higher gates and better views of the mountains. Oh, and cleaner air, more modern shopping malls and more exclusive clubs and schools for their children. I'm not sure if this is supposed to make me feel better or worse...

Home sweet home?

Back in Santiago and as before my feelings are ambivalent. It was lovely to go home to see family and friends while at the same time have a brief taste of winter, just enough to make one appreciate returning to the middle of summer in Chile. Santiago indeed began to seem quite appealing when faced with grey mornings, short dark days and drizzle, not to mention icy temperatures. However it is also hard to leave behind the world as you know it and set off on a 17-hour journey for somewhere which still doesn't feel remotely like home but is in fact where you now live, like it or not. Initially on arriving here three days ago my first thoughts were positive and full of renewed optimism as the sun shone down and we wove our way through busy roads until reaching our beautiful and spacious new apartment. Again I was struck by the light, by the imposing mountains, by the lush vegetation blooming with splendid pinks and purples. The children of course were delighted to be back in their new house with all their clutter occupying not just the new nursery but also the spare bedroom and living room. Being so young has distinct advantages in that their world is the present, the here and now. They still talk excitedly about their trip on the plane and various people close to their hearts far away but are soon taken by the next toy or game they chance upon... and good for them. I'd hate to think they were unhappy or pining for a life they can't have at the moment. As for me, I can't complain as the weather is so pleasant and I am busy settling into the new place. We are lucky to have the rest of the summer to unpack the remaining boxes, sort out what's left and also take off for some time at the beach soon... though I can't help feeling it's not really January at all and somehow on that plane last week we were transported back in time to some point in the early 1980's...

Back in the material world...

Just a quick one to say we're in the new place and it feels wonderful. Not that moving wasn't stressful, disconcerting, disorientating, and all the rest of it, but not bad for our third move in six months. This time after living with the bare essentials in a strange country for nearly four months, the joy at having our own possessions again was hard to measure. Our books, clothes, sheets, plates, the children's toys... Having said that however I am also shocked at the huge quantity of absolute and utter junk DH and I have managed to accumulate in sixteen years of a lifetime together. Most of it useless and of little market value too. But we've got it now, and can now create our home... until the next move. Although unpacking with the deadline of a flight to Europe on the horizon isn't exactly the best way of doing things; I have been frantically searching for items I won't need just so DH won't have to decide where to put all my precious bits and pieces. However being the domesticated type he is more than happy to reorganise the kitchen, wash all the plates and cutlery while also doing several washing-machine loads of bed linen etc while we are away... and fair enough, it'll keep him busy, poor lamb. Meanwhile I am counting the hours before returning to the civilisation of the 21st century with my two cherubs...

The end of 2010

Well Christmas has come and gone quicker than a blink of an eye here in Chile. No frenzied commercial countdown nor extra bank holidays just because 25 December happened to fall on a Saturday. On Monday 27 it was business very much as usual here in Santiago which is maybe just as well, considering our still precarious situation. However things are now looking up and are indeed beginning to move forward at a swift pace. On Monday DH signed the contract for our new apartment which was a moment we thought might never happen at one point. Thus we take possession from 1 January, though of course need to co-ordinate the delivery of our long-awaited container-full of personal effects which have been lying in storage since 5 November. Herein lies a potential problem: the removal company had been slow to respond to our emails and phone calls, originally stating that the earliest date on which they could deliver was 12 January. After another email exchange and phone call to the (very amenable) boss we have now been told they could do it on 5 January after all, two days before the children and I are scheduled to leave for a trip home, thus just giving us enough time to find our winter woollies and pack them ready for the Big Freeze in Europe. Fine, anything at this point would be better than continuing in this limbo of no real home and not being able to get our hands on our things... Oh, and our visas arrived today. Could this be a turning point for us? Out with the old, in with the new...Let's hope so. Happy New Year!